just a tad upset..

It's really no biggie.. I wonder whether it's a mixture of the alcohol I had.. the stress I've been putting on myself.. and just that hormonal stage of my life. But I got upset..

I mean it's nothing big lah.. it's just..

I've worked pretty hard at keeping the weight down.. and I was proud of losing that 5 kgs.. but.. it's stressful having to constantly monitor consciously the food I'm eating.. or rather not eating.. which makes me kinda miserable.. And so I guess I'm on edge.. hoping that someone will notice.. or support me.. rather than saying the opposite. Unfortunately, one of my housemates.. being a guy made a rather insensitive comment.. which normally I wouldn't take to heart cause hey. he's a guy and usually he's my fav guy of the 3 guys I have as housemates.. So I got upset.. and at first tried to cover it up by pretending to be absolutely tipsy from the mere 5 mixers and 2 glasses of wine i had and interrogating him and taking it out on him by whacking him several times playfully and unplayfully. but then I think I got a little desperate and more upset.. and wouldn't let it go.. a bad habit of mine that I usually am able to suppress but.. I did have a little to drink that loosened the control I had over that habit of mine. then somehow the night ended with me going upstairs to my room and ending it up here wondering how it happened.. He did come upstairs to see whether I was allright and apologising for whatever he did ... but I never really let people know how much things bother me but I suppose he realised cause I couldn't look him in the eye cause I was kinda upset and used the rest of my control to not be too upset in front of him and waited till he left the room before letting myself be totally upset.

I'm only writing this to get it off my chest and let me be finished with it.. as well as understand that I was being silly about it. And pray that my friend isn't too troubled by it cause honestly he was just saying the wrong thing, in the wrong place... wrong time. I don't want to annoy him.. and I don't really know WHY I got so upset but for some reason.. that comment did upset me.. and made me paranoid.. I know he'll never see this but.. yea.. I'm sorry I acted like an idiot.. I guess I haven't grown up as much as I'd like to think so.. *sigh* I pity any idiot that actually is stupid enough to fall for a crap person like me cause he'd have to deal with my temperamental-ness..

*sigh* strangely enough.. today was an okay day with a crappily weird finish.. I hope tomorrow will be better and I hope the next two days go fast enough.. I want to go home to recuperate..