should be doing other things

Waking up in the morning is a chore when you're in a state of crappy moodiness really. In any case, I skipped the useless lecture i had this morning and went for brunch with my mum. Lo and behold... it was shut and would only open at 12. SO! we went browsing in a nearby chinese grocery store till it opened and had ngau lam min! =D nyam.. and bought local chinese buns and egg tarts.

I honestly should be concentrating very hard right now. My exams are in exactly a week's time. *sigh* I'm stressed up to my eyeballs but somehow in the whole grand scheme of things.. I can't seem to motivate myself. Mentally knowing.. emotionally unwilling and physically confused by the two other aspects. Guess we know which aspect of my psyche is winning.

People keep saying that it was really brave of me during my accident and such. But to be honest.. it was hard to feel anything rather than cry and freak out. I mean I was freaking out but it was better for me not to make a massive hoo-ha about it cause people were already freaked out by it even without me freaking out so instead... i purposely made it a grand joke.. enjoyable for my sadistic side and for the grand masses.

Have I expressed myself emotionally since then? Well.. even during the high of the first couple of weeks... I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the tears and depression to come. I knew it would and it has.. albeit a bit slower and lagging that one would have imagined. I don't know.. I'd rather people not have known about it. If my mum wasn't here... heck no one would have really known. But if i were totally alone.. I might not have held back and just bawled every day. Not healthy I know. Life is hard.. how hard? don't know yet. My brilliant mum has been taking care of me. I get snappish easily.. and even tho i feel bad about being snappish its hard to bite my tongue sometimes. I just hope she understands.

Right.. other than getting emo about this...

I WON the grand prize for lucky draw of mnite! hehe! first time in my entire life which shows my luck is not to be envied. I have a feeling that the "powers that be" felt they've kicked me around a bit too much and decided to give me a break. So thanks! yay money for shopping.

kay.., that's about it.. i think i've procrastinated a bit too long. cheers y'all

Cleanliness is next to...?

I spent the day cleaning the house with K. The kitchen and the living room. Omg.. from the moment i woke up around 1 something till like 6-7 pm at night. crazee..

It was disgusting.. and i used so much boiling water to clean my hands have minor burns and are raw... oh.. and we found nasty nasty stuff... massive maggots that made me wanna throw up even tho i hadn't eaten anything the whole day till like about 8 pm when we cooked fajitas for dinner together. Luckily, K cleaned the box with the maggots and creepy crawly stuff. Ugh.. Oh and we had to throw a bag of rice with 1/3 left in it.. cause it was contaminated? Hahah But on the good side.. everything.. is SO clean now.. let's hope it stays that way. I think we're going to have to set some ground rules when we come back after the summer.

Next on the list for the weekend is cleaning my room, cleaning the toilet and perhaps starting on the packing! Omg.. I can't wait till i go home. I don't know why really.. cause there's nothing to do there.. but STILL!!! korean food korean food! I'll probably edit this post tomorrow with a picture of the maggots.. HAHAHA yes.. sick as it is.. I took a picture of it..

K Over and out!

/edit

Here's the picture I promised! Haha!


Check out the maggots.. those are the white things.. and the grown weevils... *shudder*

taylor swift

I'm hooked.. blaming C for this. C made me watch taylor swift.. and oh my god.. the girl is gorgeous.. it's undeniable..

I'm now super hooked on the song we belong together. It's very cinderella story though.. but I'm such a sucker for stuff like that.

Oh.. and I went to a friend's birthday/graduation party thing today.. takes me about 40-50 minutes to walk there though.. Oh well.. It was a good party.. had lots to eat.. *sigh* bad jamie!!

I'm still trying to lose more weight.. cause hey.. even i know going back to brunei means i'm going to be eating day and night.. and just.. eat eat eat.. cause there are so many things i want to eat. The only reason why I'm able to lose weight here in the UK is because I really.. just don't eat much. It's good for lowering my food expenses but I'm at awe at how much the human body doesn't actually NEED to eat.

Other than that.. I've got an assessment tomorrow and the dreaded OSCE on friday. I'm a little nervous but I really feel like I shouldn't be doing anything.. holiday mode already on. I can't wait till the weekend cause it means that I can start packing.. and I'm going on a cleaning spree.. all ready to go home. I can't wait!!! Can you feel my pent up anticipation?

Other than that.. hmm.. nothing much to report.. Oh other than the fact that it is really strange that in the UK i seem to be the one target that is super fun to tease... whereas back home.. i'm the one people don't want to cross.. so I'm pretty much left alone which is a good thing.. cause i know people back home don't tend to tease people about harmless matters.

Anyway.. i'll sleep early tonight.. just cause I can!

Back from awesome-ness of Manchester

Oh my.. god.. I arrived back in NCL this morning around 11.15 am. Strangely enough i'm a little tired but none worse for the wear.

J was awesome company the whole weekend. So awesome that I extended my stay till this morning instead of leaving yesterday afternoon. I think I'll try posting more on my blog btw. I wish I could say we took plenty plenty of photos. But to be honest we were too lazy. J's place is so comfy and I had a Korean futon like sleeping bed. Hehehe well makeshift from a sleeping bag, 2 throws, J's extra duvet and 2 pillows. Slept like a queen to be honest!

J's also like an evil temptation voice. Managed to convince me to buy Ray Bans. I love them but I'm also hurting from the amount of money I spent on it. Hahaha! Oh well! We also bought jeans together which are awesome and shirts. Convinced J to get something for Bruce as "petty" revenge which really isn't revenge anyway since I know J wants it. As for the rest of my expenses... went to foooood.. oh god.. it was soo good.. dimsum twice, KOREAN FOOD( been craving for it for ages), Indian food.. and various other snackage. Oh yea. I love J cause J came with me to watch X-men FINALLY and also we watched the we will rock you musical which was brilliant!

BTW X-MEN was soo cool! Why? the amount of eye candy there made me drooool. J kept teasing me cause I was apparently according to J, high on hormones and a pervert. My defense is that I haven't got a boyfriend so I can enjoy watching hot men as much as I like! Buahahha! heck even if i had a bf, I'd still be doing that!

But other than just a run through all the stuff we did. I was Happy.. "HAPPY" for such a long period of time such as these last 3 plus days is such a rare occurence.. that I revelled in it. It's not like we did much.. but we caught up.. we talked about serious issues in our lives that we didn't have time to examine and simply skimmed over when telling each other about it. Because we caught up on stuff like that.. we understand each other better. We enjoyed each other's company and silences. We just.. relished and had a ball! I'm sure people think I'm making a major issue out of nothing. But it's times like this.. that make memories that I really... for lack of a better word.. "cherish"

Before I get all sentimental and bleah.. well I'll go! I need a shower! Cooked Chicken Rice for my housemates. It was.. good. I haven't cooked in a long time and it was just.. well it felt like settling into my own skin again.

Anyways Cheers all!

Been ages.. On holiday xoxo~!

It's been ages since i've posted. I guess I wasn't emo or writ-ey enough to post. Hehe! But really I've been holiday with breaks in between. I suspect my last post was on my london trip. Then, I went on a week's holiday to bulgaria for skiing. It was really awesome. I wouldn't mind going back again. Skiing I mean. Snowboarding? to be honest.. I'd like to try it but i totally prefer skiing over it. But then again the snowboarder boots seem less painful than the skiing boots. Those boots gave me so many bruises and I was in pain for days. But as Yanko said or was it Dennis? "Pain is gain!" Hahhaha. The pictures for bulgaria.. well I didn't take many except at our "diploma ceremony" at a bar in one of the hotels. S took loads of breath taking photos. Most of them are up on facebook. I can't wait to get them from S. The skill of selca is awesome with S.

As I'm typing this out.. I'm supposed to be preparing for my next lil vacation. I'm heading to the czech republic i.e. prague and then onwards to vienna on Sunday but going to notts tomorrow first. I've heard so much about these places but I've yet to go to my main countries of France and Italy. In particular, Italy. I dunno.. there's something about the food and the romantic idea of the culture and place that makes me really want to do justice to the place in way of a holiday there.

The time and weather has been really crap lately though. The time now is about half eight pm but just before 8 was sunset. I thought this only happened during summer. It's currently mid-spring which makes this strange. It's so disorienting in a strangely comforting way? I mean more light is always good I suppose.

Also, with the fact that I seem like a total innocent cause on my bulgarian trip well... things conspired that really made me seem like a total innocent. I'm the only one who has never been attached and hasn't had my first kiss. *shrugs* like a proper kiss. SO when kissing dares came forth.. well I'm sure the blanks are filled in cause I backed away so fast you could see dust in my wake.

ANyway.. more on that when I get back from my holiday and if i remember. Kay.. time to shower and pack! Cheers!

Vacation!

I've been on holiday for the last week plus! Which is quite awesome since i haven't been able to let go of stress for the longest time. Results have been delayed in being published... so it's coming out maybe next week? But anyways, good news? I'm going to London tomorrow for a couple of days.

My wish? For it to go well.. for me to not lose my temper.. and for us to bond again. I'm worried that I'll be left out again cause I'm a "banana" Oh well.. that's what the ipod is for. Imma kinda just going cause i want to see wicked and also they kinda need a tour guide. What are we hoping to see? London Eye, Big Ben, Madame Tussauds, Ripleys *shiny eyes*, Wicked, Buckingham Palace and Harrods. Hehe.. I've pretty much done all these already.. except for Wicked and Harrods tho. *sigh* I guess I'm going to spend money needlessly.

Anyhoo, I'll blog about the trip when I get back! Packing at the moment.. Packing is NOT one of my favourite things.. I'll end the post with vain pictures of myself! hehe! Hey! I'm a girl! It's a right that I'll exploit!

Woah...

I've been pretty moody the last couple of days. I was moody last night for all the reasons stated in prev posts as well.. but.. omg.. I was up till 7 am this morning. I only slept at 7am. and then i woke up at 11.30. Why was I up? I was talking to a new friend on the couch and lost track of time. I haven't had that much rapport with anyone in a long time. Granted, I had quite a number of drinks which loosened our tongues and was pretty relaxed. But what I'm hyper aware of right now was that i was on the couch with the guy and he had his arm around me and hugged me a couple of times. I dunno. I'm hypersensitive that haha it did feel nice to be with someone in a comfy cuddly position. But talking about feelings wise? hahaha i dunno i think i was comfy cause he felt like an older brother or something cause c'mon the dude has a gf of more than 5-6 years and he's older than me by 6 years. Hahaha.. imma a kid. I will never get into something like that even if i did have feelings for the guy. It's not within my moral principles. All that's made me feel was that I'm even more longing for someone to soba ni iru yo.. On a nice note, that incident brought me out of my funk... so thanks. =D

*sigh* Lol i'm pretty shy without the alcohol.

All I can say.. is *grins* that it was an experience. I'm now more aware and should be watching the number of drinks now. God.. i'm so tired now.. I bought my dance shoes finally and it cost me 60 quid. I don't know why I keep spending money. aghhh..

Tried a new place for lunch today. it's called "nudo" as in noodle house but what the heck? nudo? i was thinking nude.. plus the place inside is pretty posh-ish.. the food isn't that fantastic tho. It's edible but not super. I shared one bowl with P cause I doubt I could finish a whole one since i did have like a bowl of cereal 2 hours before. I bought stuff in prep for kimbap and other things i'd like to attempt to make i.e. chicken rice and pai kut fan.

K... over and out! =D