terrified..

4 days..

tomorrow.. doom with dentures and Prof. T.

tuesday.. full day with written cdh mock

wednesday.. full day with competencies in the morning..

thursday.. day of doom with OS viva..

This is shaping up to be a bad week for me. I cannot wait till friday.

cakes

Saw a new cake shop in town today while taking the long route. I totally was zoning out while walking cause I ended up taking a longer route each time I needed to choose a route. *sigh* so silly. I did take the busy home though so, I guess the lazy me got fed up of my inability to focus. SO unlike my normal days where I just wanted to take the quickest route. I guess subconsciously, I didn't want to come home cause that meant i needed to study again.

I say cake shop but.. it appeared to be more of a cupcake and whoopie pie shop. I should stop in there one day before i leave. There's going to be so many things I want to do before I leave.

Listening to Kenny G at the moment seems to be the only thing that doesn't grate on my nerves at the moment. But it does make me sleepy.

Got to go to the Apple store tomorrow to get my mac fixed. 1.20 pm. I think I'll bring a book to study while perhaps waiting at the store or at starbucks.

I will defo miss newcastle when I leave for good.. however, a part of me wants to just leave all the studying and reality behind and be a good for nothing bum... so I'm looking forward to going back to Brunei and finally doing the travelling I wanted. I have to admit.. my uni life wasn't a typical student's uni life. It was influenced by the choice of course I was in. I wasn't and am not free to enjoy the uni bum life as other students are, but I reckon it probably prepared us more for the next phase in our lives. That's the situation I keep finding myself in. Choosing a not so easy path for the betterment of moving onto the next phase of my life.. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't do that cause then when will it end.

Oh my this post is getting a little morose. I end it here cause I'd rather not be depressed after writing this just when I got myself out of my funk.

Till next time

xoxo

breakdowns... the first of many

I had a bit of a rough week.

I was beyond stressed.. and in retrospect.. i should be stressed but not to the point of a breakdown.

I've had two. Its probably because I had family near by.. and if people ask me about what is causing my distress.. that's the trigger point. I reckon if I wasn't asked.. i'd be okay eventually.

What worries me is that I've broken down so early on.. the road is a couple of months long and it predicts even more breakdowns.

I pray for strength and calm.

I've got the second mock. My first ever viva on Tuesday. I'm terrified... I just hope the fear won't stop me from performing adequately.

Wish me luck!

I also feel sorry for the rest of my patients who've had to go through difficulty recently. I pray for their peace as well.

 Just a little something to brighten everyone's day.

xoxo

and so.. it begins..

i cry.. and i cry and i cry..

teeth hurt, jaw hurts..

acid builds up

never restful, never at peace

fear cripples

and then the cycle moves on

escalates..

and i cry and cry and cry..

let down

I feel quite disappointed in my friends really. But its not entirely their fault. I should have been more pro-active... no one else takes the initiative to plan a trip.. WHY do I have to be the one? I don't mind doing it jointly but I dislike having to do the whole planning on my own because I have other things to do as well okay.

But crossing fingers I'll still be able to go.. =) I'm going with a not-so-close friend. Sometimes I think that this is better cause you won't be so invested if anything goes wrong between the two of you and on the plus side, you'll get to know someone else better!

NEW YORK AND FLORIDA BABY!!

anyway.... watched devil wears prada with W tonight. Was nice to kick back and relax.

I'm also stressed out by the whole finals thing.. these next 6 months are going to test my nerves.. so badly.. i just can't wait for them to be over..

god... please help me.. give me strength and calm to see these next 6 months of turbulence through.

Other than that.. nothing very interesting.

W made yummy, refreshing watercress and pork soup. I'm terribly proud of her, she's getting better at cooking and lol I hope we'll be in friends in future as well so that i can see her growth.

Well, goodnight! Its another week.. let's take it a step at a time.

xoxo