betrayals.

Perhaps that's too harsh a word to describe it.

But my issue is when people remark on your character disparaging it when you know that you've hardly done anything to warrant such a remark. It doesn't bother me when it's someone you don't think knows you well. It bothers me something awful when it is someone who should be close to me enough to know my character. Both times that it has happened in the span of this month.. it makes me both boiling mad and disappointed with the stab of betrayal. Its hard to forget shit like that.

As described eloquently by my good friend... it bothers you more because everyone has a certain confidence of how they portray themselves.. and when someone questions it especially if its someone close.. it makes you question and doubt yourself and it hurts deep. The second guessing drives me crazy. I don't give much of a damn if its you damaging your character.. it may be fun to analyse why you do it the way you do.. *hey i never said i was angelic*

IT f*cking pisses me off when you say something about me that is balantly untrue. Especially since there are incidents that have proven that I am not what you've accused me of. It makes me question whether you really know me at all and that's what makes my blood pressure boil.. it questions and makes me doubt my judgement.

Also.. would it kill you to give me the face when I talk to you? Don't be interested only when I've got some gossip! It makes me feel cheap that the only way you're interested in what I've got to say is if its something bad about other people. I mean i can understand if your attention wanders.. but not to completely cut me off and turn your complete attention to something you think is more interesting. I try to give you my full attention when you talk.. would it kill you to show me the same respect? Do it on the phone and i understand.. but when i'm holding eye contact with you and you completely cut me off.. that's just bad manners! like wtf.. Maybe I've judged you wrong all these years.. the same as how you've judged me when you tarred my character.

Whatever... I'm just so angry these days.. i wonder whether its the hormones..

I just feel so grey..