sleep.. and stuff..

I'm having trouble sleeping. Probably because I've been sleeping for 12 hrs for the past 2-3 days at night just cause it's the weekend. I think I'm going to try sleeping a little less tonight.. and drink plenty of coffee tomorrow morning to keep me going.

The other issue is.. talking about people.

I regret.. to say that I've been talking about people lately.. and expressing my opinions. Probably because I've been keeping it inside because people keep having views that are one-sided. I usually don't do that often unless it is to people I trust with my own secrets. Friends who have known me from my turbulent teenage rebellious years can vouch for that. But I think because I've bottled it up.. now I'm letting it out. But I don't actually want to malign anyone's character because they can be perfectly allright people but something about their personalities just doesn't agree with me because of something they've said or something that they've done to me. I admit I can be bitter, bitchy and hold grudges. I am so not a good person. But I'm just hoping that what I've said doesn't get out to the wrong people. I am keeping my faith in some people right now because they've promised not to tell.. I hope they don't break it. But I am going to try watching what I say again. I really will try.. *sigh* I really feel regretful because this time I am guilty of talking crap about ppl. But not of telling someone else's issues.

Just a thought...

I wonder if anyone realises that.. once you make a decision.. no matter how small or large.. you inevitably are responsible for that decision you've made.

I doubt people realise that the decision doesn't have to be an official decision.. it could range from giving an opinion at a team meeting, to deciding to buy something and to deciding to say something. Everything is a decision.. and everything requires responsibility..

I feel so weighed down even tho I can barely count what my responsibilities are meaning that I've forgotten them..

I'm feeling so depressed with that reconfirmation..

It's so heavy... just living sometimes..

crush..

can crushes revive themselves? *shrugs* maybe it is.. but i don't know how to tell.. i tend to realise things concerning myself only much later after i've had time to analyse it. Oh well..

I don't see anything going anywhere.. so tra la la..

f(x) is so awesome.. amber reminds me a someone I knew in high school. But ahhaha is it possible to go all fangirly over a girl? =P scary..