Waking up in the morning is a chore when you're in a state of crappy moodiness really. In any case, I skipped the useless lecture i had this morning and went for brunch with my mum. Lo and behold... it was shut and would only open at 12. SO! we went browsing in a nearby chinese grocery store till it opened and had ngau lam min! =D nyam.. and bought local chinese buns and egg tarts.
I honestly should be concentrating very hard right now. My exams are in exactly a week's time. *sigh* I'm stressed up to my eyeballs but somehow in the whole grand scheme of things.. I can't seem to motivate myself. Mentally knowing.. emotionally unwilling and physically confused by the two other aspects. Guess we know which aspect of my psyche is winning.
People keep saying that it was really brave of me during my accident and such. But to be honest.. it was hard to feel anything rather than cry and freak out. I mean I was freaking out but it was better for me not to make a massive hoo-ha about it cause people were already freaked out by it even without me freaking out so instead... i purposely made it a grand joke.. enjoyable for my sadistic side and for the grand masses.
Have I expressed myself emotionally since then? Well.. even during the high of the first couple of weeks... I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the tears and depression to come. I knew it would and it has.. albeit a bit slower and lagging that one would have imagined. I don't know.. I'd rather people not have known about it. If my mum wasn't here... heck no one would have really known. But if i were totally alone.. I might not have held back and just bawled every day. Not healthy I know. Life is hard.. how hard? don't know yet. My brilliant mum has been taking care of me. I get snappish easily.. and even tho i feel bad about being snappish its hard to bite my tongue sometimes. I just hope she understands.
Right.. other than getting emo about this...
I WON the grand prize for lucky draw of mnite! hehe! first time in my entire life which shows my luck is not to be envied. I have a feeling that the "powers that be" felt they've kicked me around a bit too much and decided to give me a break. So thanks! yay money for shopping.
kay.., that's about it.. i think i've procrastinated a bit too long. cheers y'all
